Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
