He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
