either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
