Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
