i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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