I'm really into asian looking animals
we made out on top of his cat.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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