Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
