This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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