What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
worst night to have a conscience
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
