your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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