somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
