i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
this is an emotional support booty call
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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