i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I need to stop coming to work sober
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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