If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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