we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I am one with the molecules
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
