I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
