She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
