dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
