You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
