the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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