is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
