I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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