u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
