whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
