I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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