there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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