Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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