Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't deserve a penis
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
