I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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