please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
