We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
