My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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