You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
