i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
