oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
