Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
