Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
