: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
