So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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