god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
