Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
