Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
