Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
