I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
