Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
this is an emotional support booty call
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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