I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
