If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Panties = found
Randomize
