if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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