she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
