well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
