Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
