pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
