You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
