just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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