Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
