so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
