Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
